"I'm sorry" I think is a phrase that is incorrectly often and not correctly often enough. So here are my thoughts on when and how to appologize.
1. Do not say you are sorry when you intend to continue offensive the behavior.
Example: I was friends with this girl in high school. Should would invite me over every weekend so when her boyfriend came over it wasn't a "date", it was just the 3 of us hanging out. Every night I would end up watching TV while they made-out. It was very annoying to me but not as annoying as her apology at the end of the night when I left to go home. It was annoying because next week she would do the same thing - she WASN'T sorry, not even a little. She put her needs first and our friendship second and that was her prerogative. Lots of times people say they are sorry when they have no intention of stopping the activity and if that is you - don't apologize, it makes you look like a bigger jerk.
2. Do not apologize and then blame the other person.
Example: Sorry I was late, but you didn't have to wait for me. This is a total cop out apology. It implies that their time is more important than the plans they had made with you. This makes the other person feel belittled and unimportant.
3. If you hurt another person's feelings but do not think you did anything wrong - acknowledge that they are hurt and that you feel bad they are hurt but you don't feel your actions were wrong - don't be a jerk about it but discuss why they are so upset - there may be an underlying issue or perhaps you don't know the whole story. Talk to other person and find out what is really wrong, do go instantly on the defensive and get angry that the other party is sad and blame them for being upset.
4. Don't apologize for everything, but don't say you will never apologize. Rule of thumb, never be rude.
Well that is all I have to say for this evening. Any topics you guys would like me to cover? Let me know.
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